Relationships Rebound: Rebound The Proper Way
I’ll bet you have a number of acquaintances that have finished a long relationship, and a week later, began dating some person else that is just not right for them. Well this is a fairly frequent effect of the end of relationships
It has grow to be a normal way of thinking about relationships, that it pretty much seems normal to look for a rebound after your breakup. The clichéd “get back on the horse” way of thinking can have its benefits, but choosing a new partner when your judgement is obscured by the breakup, is possibly going to do more harm than good. There are a lot of better ways to get over your ex. If you truly want a new relationship, rebound the smart way
The Rebound Mindset
If you would like to stay away from making a huge mistake after a breakup, you first have to take a good look at exactly how you are feeling, and understand how those feelings may lead you to doing things that are going to be damaging. Most likely, you don’t begin a new relationship because you want to be with that person. It is usually because you miss the feeling of being with someone and would rather be with someone than be alone. This is more a cover up from what you are really feeling after the breakup, than a true relationship. Instead, try to surround yourself with pals in social activities instead of looking for romance.
Keep Your Standards
After a breakup, you often let your standards slide as you look to find someone to fill the void your ex has left behind. The truth is you should go the exact opposite way and increase your standards a little bit, just to give yourself a little security. If the person you find yourself attracted to in a post breakup condition has less going for them than you would usually go for, you should stay away. They won’t make for a good relationship, rebound or not.
Don’t Just Go For Someone Convenient
We generally want somebody fairly fast when we are looking for a rebound. We typically don’t have the time to waste getting to know someone and verifiying there is a connection, so we tend to look to get with someone we already know and already have a bit of a relationship with. This could be a co-worker, friend or just someone you regularly talk to. If you feel you are you’re becomeing drawn to someone you already know, but didn’t have any feelings for previously, you need to take a step back and ask yourself what is really going on.
Make Time For Yourself
Don’t try to fill all your time with dates that won’t go anywhere. Take some time to enjoy yourself and make new friends (no lovers). Do anything that you have always wanted to do but couldn’t find the time for. Do not sit around your house by yourself, crying “I want ex back“, or buying every self help book under the sun.
Don’t Be Too Harsh On Yourself
You maybe aren’t showing it, but the end of a relationship will result in you feeling low and a little bummed out. Admit to this and try not to start anything too big for a week or two. Instead indulge yourself, and do something you enjoy. Give yourself a break.
Not all rebounds are a disaster, and in some cases, you will have a bit of fun that will allow you to move on. But you have to make sure that you aren’t lowering your standards and just getting into a new relationship because you want to be with someone, anyone.
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Filed under Relationships by on May 24th, 2010. 