The Way To Overcome Communication Problems In Relationships
Communication troubles in romantic relationships are so common that no matter how fantastic you and your sweetie get along, you’re bound to run into some non-optimum communication somewhere down the line. The good news is, with the right approach, these challenges usually aren’t too challenging to solve.
Bridge the gender divide!
Men and women approach romantic relationships in distinctly different ways. Without an open mind, it’s much too easy to write the opposite gender off as “illogical” or even start thinking of their differences as childish or petty. The actual fact is neither gender is perfectly logical. Taking some time to learn more about exactly how the opposite gender looks at love matters can certainly help you avoid a lot of issues in romantic relationships.
Listen thoughtfully!
Don’t forget that you’re one half of the communication problem. When you’ve been together for a while, you may start to think you know very well what your partner is going to say. Unless of course you have ESP, though, you’ll get a lot farther by actually hearing your significant other out. When your sweetie tells you about something, restate what they said to make sure you understood correctly and let them know you heard.
Release the necessity for blame!
When one of you has a problem, the romantic relationship has a problem and it’s in both your best interests to figure it out peacefully.
Instead of going around in circles striving to decide whose fault it is, focus on just how you’re going to solve it. Likewise, try to avoid blaming your partner for your overall mood. Specific issues like “When you flirt with different people, I feel rejected.” are fine, but sweeping statements like “You cause me to feel miserable.” Or “you stress me out.” are taking it way too far.
Stick to the facts!
When trying to talk over issues in romances, don’t bring up any thing you can’t prove. Instead, stick with what can’t be argued like your own feelings and what your mate already agrees they do. For example, saying “You disrespected me in front of my friends” can be argued because standards of respect differ. On the other hand, saying “I was embarrassed when you told Dave that you do not think I should ask for a raise.” is not only unarguable, but furthermore gets your point across more clearly.
Be frank, but kind!
You’re not doing anyone any favors if you take a “put up and shut up” attitude to problems in romantic relationships. All you end up doing is allowing wounds to fester plus they can eventually achieve the point where they’ll never heal at all. Instead, speak your mind when you have a problem, but do this with gentleness, kindness, and respect. Remember, your partner probably isn’t trying to hurt or annoy you and may well be pretty upset to hear you’re unhappy.
Be a friend, not a coach!
Chances are, your partner isn’t with you because they’re hoping you can correct all their poor habits and personality flaws. You’re not their parent, teacher, coach, or boss. You’re their friend and lover.
You might think you’re giving constructive criticism, but your partner could possibly think your love or respect for them has diminished because of this one little flaw they have. Rather than criticizing, encourage improvement by giving your companion some positive feedback when they do something you truly like.
There, that doesn’t sound too difficult, does it? These techniques may be simple, but they really do work to solve communication problems in relationships. Give them a try.
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Filed under Relationships, Self Improvement by on May 12th, 2011. 